Why is it that people with seemingly the same circumstances and opportunities can have completely different life experiences and results?? Are some of us more deserving of success and happiness while others are destined for a lifetime of misery and challenges?
It’s not your past, it’s not your genes, it’s not your level of intelligence or your financial wealth: It’s all just your PERCEPTION!
Here’s a little ‘story’ to illustrate… Vanessa and Gloria are both 40 years old. They work at the same company with the same salary, they live in nice homes and have two kids and a husband. Each morning Vanessa gets up early and makes breakfast for her and her kids. Sometimes it’s just Honey Nut Cheerios, but they eat together because she feels family time is important; even if it’s just for 15 minutes. She then showers and gets ready for work while singing into her brush in the mirror to her favourite iPod playlist. With a steamy smooch and a pat on the butt, she says goodbye to her hubby and arrives at work a bit early to get organized before the day starts. Once in a while she finds a little love note stuffed in her pocket from her husband or flowers on the table when she gets home with a card that reads, “Love you sweetie”.
Gloria, on the other hand is addicted to her snooze button. She usually races out of bed at the last minute and finds her kids fighting over who gets the last two Oreo cookies for breakfast. While mumbling choice expletives and scrunching her face into a knot she then races through a quick shower, nicking her leg shaving, and forgetting her towel. After chucking two to three outfit options onto the floor before she decides on one, she gives her husband heck as she bolts out the door for being lazy and never appreciating her. Feeling hurt and seriously stressed out, she often forgets something, can’t find something, or breaks something in her haste. Gulping down a double-double she shows up to work out of breath a few minutes late on most days.
We’ve all heard the phrase, “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today!” Or as a friend of mine used to say, “Who $#*% in your cornflakes?” The day I stopped blaming the world for my problems and discovered that I could CHOOSE how my life was going to go, everything changed for me. So suck it up, Buttercup, because your FABULOUS life is waiting too!
Now I’m not saying that June Cleaver… er, I mean Vanessa… never has challenges or setbacks. But from the perspective of looking in from the outside, can you see how Vanessa comes from the belief that SHE creates her own reality, whereas Gloria has a perception that negative things happen TO her?
Planning ahead, being prepared, incorporating fun, doing what matters. Both women have the opportunity and choice to do those things.
And hey, when that bout of grumpiness or misery creeps in for you… FEEL IT! Experience what’s going on and allow it. Have a cry, a pity party, eat a bag of ‘bon bons’ dammit, then GET OVER IT! Come on, you know that if the phone rings or someone comes to the door, you can instantly act perfectly perky and cheerful if you have to. Hence, as much as we want to stay all grumpy-pants, we TOTALLY have control over our moods. Yep, our moods are entirely up to us. No one can MAKE us feel anything. We choose it all.
Did you know that it’s very hard to stay in a negative emotion when your chin is up? I just learned that. Très cool, and I tried it. The chin wants to drop to stay “down” with the mood.
3 Steps to Changing Your Perception
1. Plan ahead and be prepared. If you are always the late, flustered, crazy-person, get up early for goodness sakes! Pick your outfit the night before, set the breakfast dishes out at night, put your bag at the door with your work stuff in it, have a system already. Do you really want your family to think of you as moody and overly sensitive? Are you the one who cuts people off in traffic because you’re always in such a hurry? No one forced you to sleep in.
2. Make it fun and do what matters! Your kids will be grown up before you know it. Your wife or husband can be your ally/best friend/lover. Even if it’s just 15 minutes a day, plan to spend time with them that’s not rushed. If you want more romance, be romantic! If you want more appreciation, be appreciative! And have fun. Dance every chance you get, talk about positive subjects and avoid the gossip and drama. Fabulous is in you at all times and you totally know it. Release it! Make Fabulous your new ‘F’ word.
3. PERCEIVE like an optimist. When you find yourself all miserable and feeling poopy lift your chin and quietly and calmly say “This too shall pass.” Take a deep breath, relax your face and gently say it again. Smile now. Lift your chin back up. And seriously, unclench anything that’s still clenched. Sit up tall, smile HUGE and focus on something positive. Yes, there is ALWAYS something positive… choose to focus on it. Feel free to get animated in your joy and if you can laugh at yourself and see how ridiculous it is to choose grumpiness then GO FOR IT. Belt out a woohooo if it so pleases you.
You can choose to focus on the positive or choose to perceive negatively that life is happening TO you. Why would you want to give away your power? Be aware of your posture, facial expressions, tone of voice and what you choose to think about and focus on. When we perceive positive we CREATE our lives the way we want them to be.
Those who KNOW they have a choice have within them the power to make miracles happen! And now that you know, that includes YOU.
I believe in you!
Jenifer
Great article Jenifer and so true.