Can you guess what the two biggest inhibitors are that keep you from achieving ultimate success in any area of your life?

1. PROCRASTINATION and 2. OVER-COMMITMENT

Procrastinators do things last minute. They put things off, shuffle and reshuffle their to-do lists, and find themselves doing all sorts of superfluous tasks instead of what really needs their attention most. “Gee, I should really organize my sock drawer…”

Over-committers have lots of great ideas and want to start them all. They say yes to everything and don’t have enough time to give full attention to any of them. “Ooh, shiny thing, wait for me!” They are juggling so many balls at once that it’s just a matter of time before they start to drop.

What procrastinators and over-committers have in common is frustration, stress and never achieving their ultimate success. That could be with their business, relationships, weight, money, health and so on.

The Solution? Most procrastinators and over-committers resort to self-help options like reading books or taking courses. Unfortunately, these solutions are only temporary for folks of this nature. Do we have to ask why?

Fortunately, there is something that can wipe out Procrastination and Over-Commitment challenges very quickly, and even permanently. Any guesses?

Accountability!

Accountability is when we make a commitment outside of ourselves by acknowledging what we plan to do and then assuming responsibility for it. You know when you go to the gym with someone else, you are more accountable than if you only commit to going on your own? The same is for when you publicly state you are going to quit smoking / go on a diet / save money, and so on.

By far your best bet for success is when you have someone on your side whose entire purpose in your relationship is to support you, hold you accountable, push you to meet your goals and encourage you when you are feeling weak. That’s the role of a Coach.

And that’s what I do. As a Personal Empowerment Coach (a.k.a. a Success Coach or Life Coach), I motivate and guide people to overcome procrastination, over-commitment and other success-sabotaging behaviours that hinder their goals from being achieved.

But enough about that… Let’s see where you are procrastinating, over-committing or success-sabotaging in your life… Take the QUIZ and find out!

Do you Sabotage Your Success?

1. FINISHING. How rushed are you to meet your deadlines?
a) Not at all. I always finish in advance.
b) I could definitely start sooner, but I eventually finish on time.
c) I leave it until the last minute every time!

2. IDEAS. What do you do when you get a great idea?
a) I write it down for possible future use when I have an opening in my schedule.
b) I check out the possibilities and see how I can fit it into my schedule.
c) I get so excited that I start on it right away.

3. PLANNING. How much planning do you do?
a) I always plan my week and days in advance.
b) Does a to-do list count?
c) Not much. I mostly wing it.

4. PUNCTUALITY. How punctual are you?
a) 5 minutes early means on time for me.
b) I’m usually a few minutes or more late.
c) Tardy. Always.

5. COMPLETION. How much do you finish?
a) I finish everything I start.
b) I eventually finish things, but usually later than planned.
c) I constantly start new things and rush to finish others.

6. FOCUS. How good are you at staying on task?
a) I’m very focused and stick with things until they are done.
b) I get distracted occasionally and it slows me down.
c) ‘Shiny things syndrome’! I easily get distracted and off task.

7. DECLINE. How good are you at saying no?
a) Great. I always say no when necessary.
b) I often put others first and don’t say no.
c) Yes, I mean no, I mean yes. I take on everything.

8. EXCITEMENT. How long do you keep interest with new things?
a) I like consistency and stick with things for the long haul.
b) I like variety so sometimes I drop things I once had interest in.
c) I lose interest in things quickly.

9. BALANCE. How balanced is your life?
a) I always make appropriate time for my personal and work life.
b) It’s a bit off. I tend to give more time to work or projects.
c) Not at all. I work late and weekends and neglect other things.

10. ANXIETY. What is your stress level like?
a) Cool as a cucumber.
b) Yeah, a bit of tension here.
c) Even this question stresses me out!!!

11. SATISFACTION. How happy are you in your life?
a) Pleased as punch
b) I have my moments.
c) Please pass me a tissue… :’(

12. SELF. How is your health and body image?
a) I am Fabulous!
b) I could lose a few pounds or get in shape. I’m okay. Sort of.
c) Don’t like my body. Not very healthy.

13. MONEY. How are your finances.
a) Cha-ching, baby!
b) So-so… I’d like some more.
c) Are you sending me a bill for this quiz? If so get in line!

14. SIGNIFICANT OTHER. How’s your loooove life?
a) What? Sorry I didn’t hear you, I was kissing my sweetie.
b) There’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, right?
c) Love? Phooey.

15. GOALS. How confident are you in reaching them?
a) It’s just a matter of time.
b) I’m not completely clear what they are, but I guess maybe.
c) What goals? What’s the point?

RESULTS

A’s – For the questions where you answered A’s, yay for you! You have found success in this area of your life and that’s wonderful. As long as it is not at the expense of another area and you have balance, then you just go on and give yourself a big ‘ole pat on the back.

B’s – For the questions where you answered B, these are areas of mediocrity, feeling stuck and often a cause of frustration and/or disappointment. While not as extreme as the C’s, this area can often be more dangerous because of the tendency to think, “it’s not that bad”. Over time resentment or ambivalence can occur as well as feelings of regret for not having taken a chance or making a change sooner. This can lead to depression and/or long term financial or health issues. Having a Coach to hold you accountable takes B level people out of ‘stuckness’ to a level where they see rapid, positive change spread through all areas of their lives.

C’s – For the questions where you answered C, feelings of overwhelm and defeat may be key emotions. You feel stuck, like there is no way out. The good news about the C level is that when people are here, they often get to a point where they have ‘had it’ and are willing to do whatever it takes to make a change! With the accountability of Empowerment Coaching, the extra push it gives often shocks people by how quickly positive results happen, and they get control of their lives.

Wherever you would like to see positive change happen in your life , the help of a Coach can be the motivation you need.

~ Jenifer

PS: Call me for a free 1 hour Consultation to see how having your own Personal Empowerment Coach can motivate you, hold you accountable and steer you toward your goals at a rate 10 times faster or more than you could do on your own.

It’s not your past, it’s not your genes, it’s not your level of intelligence or your financial wealth: It’s all just your PERCEPTION!

Here’s a little ‘story’ to illustrate… Vanessa and Gloria are both 40 years old. They work at the same company with the same salary, they live in nice homes and have two kids and a husband. Each morning Vanessa gets up early and makes breakfast for her and her kids. Sometimes it’s just Honey Nut Cheerios, but they eat together because she feels family time is important; even if it’s just for 15 minutes. She then showers and gets ready for work while singing into her brush in the mirror to her favourite iPod playlist. With a steamy smooch and a pat on the butt, she says goodbye to her hubby and arrives at work a bit early to get organized before the day starts. Once in a while she finds a little love note stuffed in her pocket from her husband or flowers on the table when she gets home with a card that reads, “Love you sweetie”.

Gloria, on the other hand is addicted to her snooze button. She usually races out of bed at the last minute and finds her kids fighting over who gets the last two Oreo cookies for breakfast. While mumbling choice expletives and scrunching her face into a knot she then races through a quick shower, nicking her leg shaving, and forgetting her towel. After chucking two to three outfit options onto the floor before she decides on one, she gives her husband heck as she bolts out the door for being lazy and never appreciating her. Feeling hurt and seriously stressed out, she often forgets something, can’t find something, or breaks something in her haste. Gulping down a double-double she shows up to work out of breath a few minutes late on most days.

We’ve all heard the phrase, “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed today!” Or as a friend of mine used to say, “Who $#*% in your cornflakes?” The day I stopped blaming the world for my problems and discovered that I could CHOOSE how my life was going to go, everything changed for me. So suck it up, Buttercup, because your FABULOUS life is waiting too!

Now I’m not saying that June Cleaver… er, I mean Vanessa… never has challenges or setbacks. But from the perspective of looking in from the outside, can you see how Vanessa comes from the belief that SHE creates her own reality, whereas Gloria has a perception that negative things happen TO her?

Planning ahead, being prepared, incorporating fun, doing what matters. Both women have the opportunity and choice to do those things.

And hey, when that bout of grumpiness or misery creeps in for you… FEEL IT! Experience what’s going on and allow it. Have a cry, a pity party, eat a bag of ‘bon bons’ dammit, then GET OVER IT! Come on, you know that if the phone rings or someone comes to the door, you can instantly act perfectly perky and cheerful if you have to. Hence, as much as we want to stay all grumpy-pants, we TOTALLY have control over our moods. Yep, our moods are entirely up to us. No one can MAKE us feel anything. We choose it all.

Did you know that it’s very hard to stay in a negative emotion when your chin is up? I just learned that. Très cool, and I tried it. The chin wants to drop to stay “down” with the mood.

3 Steps to Changing Your Perception

1. Plan ahead and be prepared. If you are always the late, flustered, crazy-person, get up early for goodness sakes! Pick your outfit the night before, set the breakfast dishes out at night, put your bag at the door with your work stuff in it, have a system already. Do you really want your family to think of you as moody and overly sensitive? Are you the one who cuts people off in traffic because you’re always in such a hurry? No one forced you to sleep in.

2. Make it fun and do what matters! Your kids will be grown up before you know it. Your wife or husband can be your ally/best friend/lover. Even if it’s just 15 minutes a day, plan to spend time with them that’s not rushed. If you want more romance, be romantic! If you want more appreciation, be appreciative! And have fun. Dance every chance you get, talk about positive subjects and avoid the gossip and drama. Fabulous is in you at all times and you totally know it. Release it! Make Fabulous your new ‘F’ word.

3. PERCEIVE like an optimist. When you find yourself all miserable and feeling poopy lift your chin and quietly and calmly say “This too shall pass.” Take a deep breath, relax your face and gently say it again. Smile now. Lift your chin back up. And seriously, unclench anything that’s still clenched. Sit up tall, smile HUGE and focus on something positive. Yes, there is ALWAYS something positive… choose to focus on it. Feel free to get animated in your joy and if you can laugh at yourself and see how ridiculous it is to choose grumpiness then GO FOR IT. Belt out a woohooo if it so pleases you.

You can choose to focus on the positive or choose to perceive negatively that life is happening TO you. Why would you want to give away your power? Be aware of your posture, facial expressions, tone of voice and what you choose to think about and focus on. When we perceive positive we CREATE our lives the way we want them to be.

Those who KNOW they have a choice have within them the power to make miracles happen! And now that you know, that includes YOU.

I believe in you!
Jenifer

So what are you going to do?
Lock them in the house until they’re 30? Forbid them to do anything (which usually leads to them being more clever about not getting caught), or are you going to arm them with the tools to make the best possible decisions they can and then trust that if it doesn’t turn out so good that they’ll learn and move on?

Here’s the thing folks, a 5 year old rationalizing whether or not to sneak a cookie before dinner requires the same process as a 15 year old deciding whether or not to have sex.  If they can start to learn how to weigh the benefits and the consequences when they’re 5, they’ll have a much easier time with the ‘big’ decisions when they’re teens.

Being Ready
As I brought up my now 16 year old twin girls, I would always tell them that making decisions about new responsibilities and freedoms in life was about being ready, not about being a certain age. For example, when they asked me in grade 6 if they could wear eyeliner, I asked them to tell me what we would need to see to know they were ready. We decided that if they could wear eyeliner for a whole weekend so it looked clean, they washed it off before bed, they didn’t get it on their clothes and they had enough allowance saved up to buy their own after the experiment, then they were ready to wear eyeliner. Well, they lasted about 3 hours before they were frustrated reapplying it after every time they rubbed their eyes and smudged it! The result: they made the choice that they weren’t ready. They decided what was right for themselves and I wasn’t the bad guy.

Wearing eyeliner isn’t exactly one of the panic-instilling decisions we worry about our kids making. So what about the big ones, like sex, drinking or drugs?

Here are 5 great points to teach your kids on what to consider before making the big ones!:

GUT CHECK
Intuition, our gut feeling, whatever you want to call it, it’s there to send important signals when our heads can’t clearly decide. Some tell-tale signs that we may not be ready for something are: our heart races, temperature changes, we feel nervous or queasy, we’re unable to think clearly, or a combination of any of those.

Feeling physically uncertain may be a clear sign that waiting is a good idea. When we feel totally clear about something, the decision is easy and it feels right.

PROS and CONS
Make a list – even if it’s in their head – of the things that are ‘for sure’ good about saying yes and the things that are ‘I don’t think so’ bad about saying yes. The length of the cons list is a good indicator of whether a yes or no is in order.

DELIVERY
If they’re making a decision where another person asks them for something or to do something, consider their delivery. How did they ask? Were they considerate and respectful? Did they pressure you if you said you weren’t sure? Were they rude or not nice? Did they say anything along the lines of “no one else has to know” or “it’ll be a secret”? (BTW, tell your kids that if someone ever says “do this, and we won’t tell anyone” …TELL!  It’s totally not cool and they shouldn’t be a part of it.)

THE 3:24 RULE
This rule will get them out of any uncomfortable situation at any time if they make it their own personal rule. 3:24 represents 3 PEOPLE and 24 HOURS. They commit to themselves to talk to 3 people within the next 24 hours before making ANY big decision. Of those 3 people, suggest they try to make one of them an adult they trust (like a parent, teacher or coach) and one of them a person who has had to make that same decision. The other can be a good friend. This way, they’ll feel supported and informed, no matter what decision they make. It’ll help them to see more than one side and will relieve the pressure of deciding right away. They can make a pact with their friends and then tell others they ALWAYS follow the 3:24 rule.

THEN WHAT
This is key! Did you know that our brains aren’t even fully developed until we’re in our 20′s? And the part where they think beyond ‘what’s in it for me right now’ isn’t the most used. Kids need to be encouraged to consider the near and distant future. What happens afterward if you say yes? Are there new expectations? Will anything change? Is there a possibility you may regret your decision? What if others found out like a friend, parent, teacher, future boss? Tell your kids that whatever they decide, be ready for the rewards or consequences. If they are ready to say yes, they have to be ready for what it results in later.

Being ‘ready’ is not about age, it’s about maturity. It’s about them deciding things because it’s right for them, not because of ‘everyone else’. We haven’t always made the best decisions and hopefully we’re wiser because of it. We have to trust that a lot of our kid’s decisions will be good ones and that we’ve given them the tools to learn from the ones that weren’t so hot.

I always told my girls: never say never, but never say yes if it’s not right for you.

~ Jenifer
If communication is a struggle with your kids or teens, check out my parenting strategy workshops to create Harmony in your home!

Statistics say that 70-90% of New Year’s resolutions fizzle to the ground before the month is even up anyway. Great. Now we’re even more frustrated and disappointed in ourselves, and feeling guilty and stressed out. It’s been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result.

Don’t start your new year off with insanity, folks! This can be YOUR year for massive success in all areas of your life. Are you ready?

Here are your 5 Steps

1. VISUALIZE So you have your goal, “Hmm, number 1, I know, I want to get in shape! Number 2…” Wait! Before you get onto the next one, close your eyes and visualize what your goal means to you. In this example; getting in shape. What do you look like? How do you feel? How are you acting differently in your life with your new fit body? The more clearly you can picture your goal, the stronger your desire will be to make it happen. Go back to that visualization any time you need inspiration!

2. PLAN IT Now you know how AWESOME it will be to have accomplished that goal, but what about the HOW? This step is CRITICAL to your success! Break down the ‘how’, and then break it down some more. Ask yourself questions: How much time is required? What skills do you need? Who can help you? Will there be a financial commitment? Then break down those answers with more ‘hows’ and ‘whats’. We all know that if we fail to plan we plan to fail!

3. SMALL STEPS This is the WHEN part. It’s your action plan. Choose 1 SMALL action item every day that you will do RIGHT NOW to get you closer to your goal. Keep your vision on your goal and take it one small step at a time. Small steps keep us away from overwhelm and let us know we’re ACHIEVING bit by bit.

4. GET SUPPORT Ask friends and family to support you by inquiring about your progress to help hold you accountable. Get an Empowerment Coach, attend motivational workshops and read inspiring books. Think of the most successful athletes, millionaires and entertainers… they ASK for support and coach with empowerment experts. If you’re not willing to invest in yourself, how will you grow?

5. HAVE FUN! Laugh, play and celebrate EVERY success, especially the small ones. It will motivate you further and train your brain to associate your efforts with pleasure, not pain.

You can do it, one step at a time. I believe in you!
Jenifer

Are You Holding Yourself Back?

While some “supposed tos”, like speed limits, make complete sense because of safety, so many others don’t serve us. Have you ever:

• lost money in an investment because you went with what everyone else was doing, even if your instinct told you differently? (aka: it must be right if everyone else is doing it)
• spent more than your budget on a brand name product because of appearances? (aka: notice ME, I look like everyone else)
• given your kids behavior instructions before going to someone’s house for not wanting to be judged? (aka: whatever you do, DON’T be yourself!)
• eaten beyond being full at a restaurant? (aka: I may be watching my weight but I paid good money for this, darn it!)
• been upset with your spouse because of something they didn’t do? (aka: they should have just known what you wanted them to do to make you happy, even though they did something different, but that didn’t count because if they loved you they should know what you like)

Realization is the first step, so laugh about it! Mistakes are not life sentences, they are opportunities to grow.

When was the last time your examined your perceptions? How often do you say, “I should…”, “you should…”, “they should…”? If this is you, then you are limiting yourself and creating stuckness! Yes, I declare “stuckness” to be a word, and even if my editing software draws a squiggly little red line under it, I choose to NOT feel as though I should change it.

Getting UNstuck

The opposite of stuckness is freedom! Choice is freedom! And yet we so often give up choice for habit. There’s a great line in a RUSH song that goes, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” What a great insight… so by NOT choosing to do something different, we are still choosing. We are choosing to LET life happen TO us rather than CREATING it ourselves the way we want it. Either way, we are the sum of our choices.

Good news! Getting Unstuck is kinda easy when you get the hang of it. Wrapping your head around the concept and arming yourself with some “should-smashing tools” to use on a daily basis is all it takes. Regardless of WHERE your stuckness is; finances, career, relationships, health, parenting, etc., your best life is there for the taking… as soon as YOU are ready to take it!

To your success,
~ Jenifer